Manwich

Tonight I had the pleasure of dining with a gentleman friend of mine I see about once a month. We get really high and then visit a good (preferably ethnic) restaurant for a night of laughing and meandering conversation. We had a really good time tonight - not sure what, if anything precisely, made it so fun, but we truly had a good time. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Something came up that I can't get out of my head. I've been thinking about lesbianism a fair amount, not in an permanent sense, but out of bi-curiosity and a desperate need for ANY form of sexual interaction. I've recently been given what I think was an open invitation to join the ranks of the sexually satisfied, by a female friend. We know each other, which makes me unfortunately hesitant.

I'm not a good liar. If I'm not into it, it may make things awkward. And what happens afterwards? I know I wouldn't want a relationship (I don't want a relationship with anyone, really), which means ultimately the arrangement is doomed...doesn't it make more sense to just quit while you're ahead? She's definitely someone I could have a threesome with, but one-on-one?

Anyway, discussing this with Albert at dinner simply lit up his whole night. He eagerly told me, "Let me know if you need a man for your Manwich." Does that sound like fun for a guy? I briefly had a makeout sesh with two guys in college, and just a few minutes in I was overwhelmed. It seemed like so much work! I would definitely never volunteer for something like that. But Albert piped right up, seriously, he wasted no time offering his services.

Whether I'll follow through with the planning behind that whole situation (oh the drugs we would need!), only time will tell. But do all men leap at that thought? I don't honestly know how many women would, MMF or MFF. Some, for sure, would be curious. Is that all it is with men? Curiosity? What exactly is so exciting?

Not that I'd turn down a MMF if it came along right this instant...Well. Maybe I would.

A List

So what is precisely the problem? Well, aside from a distinct lack of photo and design skills, it's the problem with me, my fundamental character. You see, I think too much. I think at length about only one thing, though. Myself. And with this blog, I am entering the ranks of every other narcissistic blogger out there (entertaining though they may be), an event I truly hoped never would happen.

"Wow, look at you, Gillian. Stooping to a level you have only ever before criticized. I am ashamed." Me too, my friend, me too. I've even begun atwittering. And I'll tell you what. I am loving it. A completely open forum where I can freely discuss every innermost thought without feeling like I'm burdening those around me? I have reached my Mecca. Hello, Mecca.

Without further ado.

My Top Ten Sex To-Do List (in no particular order)

(what were you expecting?)

1. In a shower. Not, of course, that I haven't already done this. I have. As part of a threesome, once. But  I really want that hard, pressed-against-the-tile, foot-propped-on-the-side, choking-on-the-water-in-my-eyes kind of shower sex. It sounds unpleasant (maybe?) but my mental visuals are pretty compelling.

2. With food. I'm really vibing homemade chocolate sauce licked off someone's toned, preferably only lightly-furred, stomach. And my own. Belly button included, please.


3. With ice. Nipples, duh, but also inside. A combo with a hot shower would be even better. And a vibrator.


4. From behind while leaning over something soft. Not sure about anyone else, but gosh I love it while laying on my stomach. Unfortunately, I've run into mechanical issues just laying flat on the bed. I really want to spend more time propped against a bunch of cushions, or one of those giant bean bag bed things.


5. In a car. For old times' sake.


6. With a vibrating cock ring. 'Nuff said.


7. With a woman. For the record, I don't call myself a lesbian. I have always and forever been sexually attracted to and satisfied by men. However, I rarely notice men in public, I only ever look at women. I find kissing girls to be an exceptional experience that makes me want to experiment, expand beyond into more erotic activities. Just thinking about it turns me on. So yeah, I want to have sex with a woman (again) to sort of figure things out a bit. And I think eating a woman out would just be a thrilling adventure I could add to my list of sexual conquests. Yup, I have one of those too.


8. With a woman and a man. With every kind of kinky combo MFF can perform.


9. While fucked up on something. Drugs are fun.


10. At all. Oh, that. See, here's the thing. It's been like, 8 months. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but not by a hell of a lot (it's actually that I sort of can't remember the precise date of the last time...it was barely semi-exciting, obviously). So my 2011 resolution, my primary resolution, is to have more sex. Like, a lot more. January...unfortunately passed me by. I did kiss 3 guys as the ball dropped! And I've been kissed since, too. Then there's the date I had with a married man last Thursday...

But more about that later.

Precisely the Problem

Hello Blogger, big, expansive, enormous, anonymous Blogger. I greet thee today from the comfortable confines of my comfy couch, ensconced by a haze of hemp happiness. Hello. I know you are already filled to capacity, scarcely able to fit yet another narcissistic soul inside your cloud, but I beseech you. I have my own stories to tell, stories I hope you will find just as tremendous and traffic-driving as some of your fashion, food, and fiction tomes. I appreciate sincerely the opportunity to share my own thoughts about the life I lead and the world around us.

I begin today with a brief introduction.

My name is Gillian. I am young, single, independent. I enjoy the carnal pleasures: food and sex. I have a passion for the English language, and little desire to learn a new one. I find alliteration to be one of the more exquisite ways to experience words. I am currently dating a married man.

Welcome. And thank you.